Before we left, I asked you if you needed to go. I pointed out the Corvette as it drove out of the carwash. But no, you said you were fine.

Dan Piraro of Bizarro Comics shares with us one of the great and constant joys of parenting.

Link

We all know it: women are a minority among scientists. Journalists love to write about them, but stories of women scientists tend to focus on the fact that they are women to the detriment of the actual science they are doing. Media profiles often put female scientists on a pedestal, as in "OMG, she's juggling her research career with raising kids!"

Ann Finkbeiner, my colleague at Last Word On Nothing, has had enough. As she explained here yesterday, she plans to write about an impressive astronomer and “not once mention that she’s a woman.” It’s not that Finkbeiner objects to drawing attention to successful female scientists. She’s produced many of these stories herself. The issue, she says, is that when you emphasize a woman’s sex, you inevitably end up dismissing her science.

Finkbeiner, a freelance science writer, inspired Christie Aschwanden to come up with the Finkbeiner test, to judge stories about women in science, although it would work with other professional profiles as well.

To pass the Finkbeiner test, the story cannot mention

    The fact that she’s a woman
    Her husband’s job
    Her child care arrangements
    How she nurtures her underlings
    How she was taken aback by the competitiveness in her field
    How she’s such a role model for other women
    How she’s the “first woman to…”

In other words, writing about female scientists should be like writing about male scientists. Then the actual science can be the focus. In the essay at DoubleXScience, Aschwanden links to examples of stories that pass the test, and to those that don't. Link  -via Not Exactly Rocket Science

(Image credit: Flickr user International Maize and Wheat Improvement Center. The subject is Mexican agronomist Monica Mezzalama.)

My, how times have changed! In his latest artoon over at College Humor, Caldwell Tanner illustrates we perceive the activities of life differently as we grow up.

View more over at College Humor: Link - via Pleated Jeans

Although Chelsea Bloxsom crafts in many different media, I'm especially taken with her Adventure Time embroidery. I drifted away from the series after Season 2, but I may go back if Jake frequently utters such wisdom.

Link

(YouTube link)

A marten got onto the field at the soccer game between between Thun and Zurich in a Swiss Super League match Sunday. A net couldn't catch it, but Zurich's Loris Benito did -and got bitten for his efforts. The marten was removed from the field, but came back again! This time, a goalkeeper grabbed the animal. Yeah, he was bitten, too, but not hurt since he was wearing gloves. After the second stunt, the marten was actually taken away from the game. Link -via Fark  

Barry Watson has been many things: teacher, bus driver, financial advisor ... but in a small village in India, he's royalty.

Here's what happened:

Among the Yanadi tribe of Andhra Pradesh, he is known as “King Bazza” and held in such awe that his “subjects” have been known to walk ten paces behind him, and children have feared to approach him.

However, at home in Chepstow, he is an ordinary father-of-four whose children constantly “take the mick”.

Mr Watson was given the title after helping villagers, who once lived on a rubbish tip and had a life expectancy of around 40, to make a new home for themselves – which has been named Barrypuram in his honour.

But he was regarded as special from the moment he arrived by the tribe – who are at the bottom of the caste system and are descended from ratcatchers to the local kings.
“They said there was an ancient prophecy one day a white man would come and build them a village,” he said.

John-Paul Ford Rojas of The Telegraph has the fascinating story: Link

Don't wait until preschool. If you take the right approach, you can get a young Dalek to begin exterminating before she can walk. Allison Bitter knitted this adorable Dalek shell. You can download her pattern at the link.

Link -via Play with Your Yarn

Wicked Witch of the East Doorstop

Are you having trouble keeping the doors of opportunity open in your house? You need the great and powerful Wicked Witch of the East Doorstop from the NeatoShop. This fantastic doorstop is shaped like the crushed feet of the Wicked Witch of the East.      

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more great Wizard of Oz items. 

Link

Have you ever seen individually-wrapped jelly beans before? What a hassle! You might think this is a scheme to give away tiny little candies in tiny little bunches at Halloween, but this is sugar-free candy. Redditor BetterDayz4me ordered Jelly Bellies and was so surprised by the wrapping that he took a picture.  And wouldn't you know it, got a couple of very good explanations in no time at all. Chubbysumo said,  

actually, its probably because to be truly sugar free, they cannot use the corn starch powder that they usually toss in with them to stop them from sticking together, so, if they don't wrap them like that, they stick horribly.

And many others said it was to keep you from eating too many at once. There's a reason for this, as mrbooze explained,

This is important for people that somehow don't know it. Sugar-free candies meant for diabetics and such often use sorbitol/malitol/some-other-sugar-alcohol, which can be a powerful laxative if one consumes a large enough amount of it.

Edit: Apparently one of the sugar alcohols, erythritol, does not have the strong laxative effect of the others. On the other hand, eating too much at once can cause nausea and borborygmi, which is fun to say.

So whether you are diabetic or not, don't eat too many sugar-free candies at one time! Link

What do you lay awake at night worrying about? Are your worries different than those far smarter than you? Perhaps.

John Brockman of Edge magazine asked what the world's most intelligent brainiacs - including Physics Nobel laureate Frank Wilczek, technologist Tim O'Reilly, musician Brian Eno, The Black Swan author Nassim Nicholas Taleb - about their professional worries and got a lot of responses.

One hundred and fifty distinct worries, in fact. Thankfully, VICE's Motherboard blog has summarized it for us:

1. The proliferation of Chinese eugenics. – Geoffrey Miller, evolutionary psychologist.

2. Black swan events, and the fact that we continue to rely on models that have been proven fraudulent. – Nassem Nicholas Taleb

3. That we will be unable to defeat viruses by learning to push them beyond the error catastrophe threshold. – William McEwan, molecular biology researcher

4. That pseudoscience will gain ground. – Helena Cronin, author, philospher

5. That the age of accelerating technology will overwhelm us with opportunities to be worried. – Dan Sperber, social and cognitive scientist

6. Genuine apocalyptic events. The growing number of low-probability events that could lead to the total devastation of human society. – Martin Rees, former president of the Royal Society

7. The decline in science coverage in newspapers. – Barbara Strauch, New York Times science editor

8. Exploding stars, the eventual collapse of the Sun, and the problems with the human id that prevent us from dealing with them. -- John Tooby, founder of the field of evolutionary psychology

9. That the internet is ruining writing. – David Gelernter, Yale computer scientist

10. That smart people--like those who contribute to Edge--won’t do politics. –Brian Eno, musician

11. That there will be another supernova-like financial disaster. –Seth Lloyd, professor of Quantum Mechanical Engineering at MIT

12. That search engines will become arbiters of truth. --W. Daniel Hillis, physicist

13. The dearth of desirable mates is something we should worry about, for "it lies behind much human treachery and brutality.” –David M. Buss, professor of psychology at U of T

14. “I’m worried that our technology is helping to bring the long, postwar consensus against fascism to an end.” –David Bodanis, writer, futurist

15. That we will continue to uphold taboos on bad words. –Benhamin Bergen, Associate Professor of Cognitive Science, UCS

Humanity, start worrying! Or, you can just accept it all, like Terry Gilliam of Monty Python, who said:

I've given up asking questions. l merely float on a tsunami of acceptance of anything life throws at me... and marvel stupidly.

Read the original post over at Edge: Link | Summary at Motherboard blog

There are enough bacon products and projects around to serve you from the time you get up to the time you go back to bed (many of them available in the NeatoShop). You'll get a kick out of seeing them from sunup to bedtime in a photo essay at The Delivery Blog. Link -via the Presurfer

If you want to live in the 1950s again, then Robert Egger's bike is the one for you. This custom Caddy, built out of fiberglass in 1998, dispenses with all design modesty. It was one of several classically styled bikes that he built during the late 90s.

Link -via Nag on the Lake

Artist Phil Noto drew what Luke will look like in Star Wars VII. Or should look like. Considering what Mark Hamil looks like today, this is a very believable look for the Jedi Master. Link  -via Buzzfeed

They're all on FriendsterMySpaceFacebook Tumblr Instagram Snapchat (Insert latest social media sensation here). Via Cheezburger

(YouTube link)

You've heard the phrase "he's got more talent in his big toe than I've got in my whole body"? Austrian band Mnozil Brass shows off some skills you didn't even know musicians had in this performance of "Lonely Boy."  -via Arbroath

Think of it as Californian/Québécois fusion cuisine. Psycho Donuts' bold experiment uses caramel, "the gravy of the dessert world!" Gimme!

Link

Bismuth (Image: fluor_doublet/R. Tanaka/Flickr)

We all know the periodic table of the elements from high school chemistry, but have you ever wondered what the actual chemical elements look like? Japanese chemist and photographer R. Tanaka is on a mission to photograph the world's most photogenic elements and we dare say he succeeded with flying colors.

Check out his website and Flickr page to see more wonderful images of the elements.

Osmium

Palladium

Monoclinic sulfur

Oxidized arsenic

Gold crystal

Lead

Platinum

Ruthenium

Tellurium

Oxidized vanadium

View more over at R. Tanaka's Flickr set: The Elements - via Visual News

Putting a small device, the size of a key fob, in your pocket could "authenticate" your entire body for various purposes, such as unlocking your front door, or using a firearm. Those items wouldn't work for someone else who didn't have the device on them. The company Microchip Technology announced the product called BodyCom, which is a short-range security communication system.  

Edward Dias, Microchip’s security business development manager, says the company envisions a slew of potential security applications for BodyCom. With the technology in place, you could unlock your front door just by touching the doorknob; power tools and guns could be secured so that only a user with the right fob could get them to work. (The idea is similar to the RFID- or biometric-equipped “smart gun” that some lawmakers are mulling.) BodyCom could be used for pets, too: a collar-mounted fob could let a pet open the doggy door with its nose or paw, but unwanted animals wouldn’t be able to get in.

Already, Dias says, a company in Italy is using BodyCom to ensure that motorcyclists cannot zoom off bare-headed. The key fobs are incorporated into helmets, while the handlebars of the motorcycle act as the base station.

The fob doesn't yet distinguish between the legitimate user and, say, someone who has stolen the fob, but it is small and hidden, and not labeled as to its use. Still, if you forget to take it out of your pants pocket, only the washing machine will be able to open the front door. If this technology could keep my kids from using my scissors, I'm all for it. Link

(Image credit: Microchip)

Rabbit With Big Pointy Teeth

Spring is nearly here. What better way to celebrate this glorious change in the seasons than with the Rabbit With Pointy Teeth from the NeatoShop. This frightfully adorable mini plush of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, from Monty Python and the Holy Grail  features lovely white pointy teeth. Pinch this bunny's bottom and he will open up his mouth for you. Are you brave enough to face down this adorable little bunny rabbit? 

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more Monty Python and the Holy Grail items. 

Link

We've seen plenty of yarn bombing here on Neatorama, but this one takes the cake. Or shall we say, bus. Magda Sayeg, who created the Smart Car cozy we featured on Neatorama a few years ago, decided to up her game by knitting a cozy for an entire bus! Link

(YouTube link)

Joe and Beverly Smith had a 1948 Plymouth convertible when they first married, but had to sell it when Joe was drafted for the Korean War. For the couple's 60th wedding anniversary, their son Joel surprised them with a car that brought back memories. It wasn't easy, but it was all worth it. -via Nag on the Lake

This is the Star Wars giveaway you're looking for. Actually, it's not yet here. On our next issue of NeatoMail email newsletter (here's a sample), we're going to run a nifty Choose Your Own Prize giveaway, exclusive to the subscribers. You get to choose what you want from the NeatoShop's selection of Star Wars merch.

But to participate, you have to join NeatoMail:

If you work for Advanced Medical, a company in Port Orange, Florida, you probably look forward to Beer Cart Fridays. Once a week, each employee is provided with an ice-cold beer:

Jennifer Fuicelli, the company's chief executive, said while she knows alcohol in the workplace is a contentious issue for some, she wanted to provide an "unorthodox corporate culture" of rewarding employees for their hard work — by allowing them to crack open a cold one, on the company's tab, during work hours. [...]

"We have a very low turnover, and a very high retention rate," she said.

Link -via Dave Barry | Photo: News-Journal/Nigel Cook

POLL: Should Alex offer free beer to Neatorama employees on Fridays?

• Yes, you guys totally deserve it!
• No. From the way you write, it's clear that you're already sloshed.

When artist Jimmy Kuehnle decided to invent an invisible bicycle, man, does he go (almost) all the way. Notice the invisible clothing and invisible helmet. Just be thankful he didn't invent invisible underpants!

Yes, the cycle is completely transparent, except for the chain and bearings. Constructed of Lexan or "bullet proof glass," the bike exists in a dual reality as sculpture and transportation. Once again the outfit compliments the bicycle sculpture this time as a clear vinyl suit. Citizens of Austin and San Antonio saw all or nothing since the bike and the suit were "invisible."

From Jimmy's 2005 project Invisible Bike: Link - via Design Dautore

Redditor pembull took a panoramic photograph of Fort Funston Beach in San Francisco. The picture here is cropped; see the full version here. A nice picture, but what's that in the middle? It's his dog, which was running when the picture was taken. Let's zoom in.

The poor dog became known as "Buttdog" thanks to this photograph, and now has its own subreddit. However, there is plenty more photoshoppery available in the original thread. Link

Syphilis, if left untreated, can result in the collapse of the bridge of the nose. This prosthetic nose, displayed by the Wellcome Collection last summer, is an artificial replacement that included a handy pair of spectacles.

Link -via The Oddment Emporium