Guys, forget cute puppie - they're messy and poop a lot. Instead, grab a guitar when you're trying to meet women. A new study has proven that women love musicians:

According to the study’s abstract, they enlisted a young man to flirt with 300 women under three different scenarios: holding a guitar case, carrying a gym bag and appearing empty-handed.

Ultimately, the women were much more willing to give him their phone number when they saw the guitar case, “thus suggesting that musical practice is associated with sexual selection.”

Link - via Accordion Guy

The diet can wait until...well, let's not kid ourselves.

Sarah J. Gim used already made glazed donuts and slow churn ice cream to make the sandwiches. She froze them, then dipped them in melted chocolate and served them to undoubtedly thankful people. You can find process photos and her recipe at the link.

Link -via Nag on the Lake

Dead Inside Banshee Bag

Are you looking for an accessory that will really touch your soul? Behold the Dead Inside Banshee Bag from the NeatoShop. This striking purse features a sugar skull / calavera design. A kiss lock metal closure and shoulder strap help make the bag both functional and beautiful. 

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more great Bags & Totes. 

Link

First milk, butter, coffee and cornmeal ran short. Now Venezuela is running out of the most basic of necessities – toilet paper.

Blaming political opponents for the shortfall, as it does for other shortages, the government says it will import 50m rolls to boost supplies.

That was little comfort to consumers struggling to find toilet paper on Wednesday.

"This is the last straw," said Manuel Fagundes, a shopper hunting for tissue in Caracas. "I'm 71 years old and this is the first time I've seen this."

One supermarket visited by the Associated Press in the capital on Wednesday was out of toilet paper. Another had just received a fresh batch, and it quickly filled up with shoppers as the word spread.

"I've been looking for it for two weeks," said Cristina Ramos. "I was told that they had some here and now I'm in line."

Economists blame government price control that caused Soviet Union-like shortages of toilet paper and other basic commodities: Link

John Cheese at Cracked is 39, and starting to recognize the signs of aging. I can relate to several of these. I don't mind slang terms yet, but I find that it now takes a lot to impress me.

Eventually, you reach a point where you have heard virtually every debate point for every topic ever conceived by man. Nothing anyone says is new. Nothing anyone says is convincing the other side to "convert" to their line of thinking. Consider how long debates have been around between atheists and Christians, legalization and anti-drug groups, pro-lifers and pro-choicers, Democrats and Republicans, and on and on. So many of the talking points and debate styles overlap from topic to topic that you can damn near lip sync to them as they're being said. All debates have turned into a Nickelback album.

Maybe it says something about how much older I am that I don't even know what Nickelback sounds like. But he's got some good points in this list, in plenty of NSFW language. Link

(Image credit: Flickr user Aislinn Ritchie)

In the Nineteenth Century, artisans in Eastern Europe made amazing smoking pipes out of meerschaum, a soft mineral. Roy Ricketts has assembled a collection of outstanding examples of this crafting tradition. Ben Marks of Collectors' Weekly explains why craftsmen used meerschaum:

Meerschaum is a relatively new material to pipe making, appearing no earlier than the 18th century. Found primarily in and around the city of Eskişehir in western Turkey, meerschaum is a porous mineral that’s soft enough to be carved but hard enough to be polished, revealing the carver’s artistry. Unlike hardwood briar pipes, which are also finely carved, meerschaum does not burn, which means the bowl is cool to the touch when it’s being smoked and the pipe material imparts no flavor to the tobacco. And because meerschaum is porous, meerschaum pipes change color over time as they are smoked. Thus, the stone, which is carved white, turns butterscotch brown when made into a pipe, filled with tobacco, and smoked, a process that’s frequently hurried along by rubbing a finished pipe with beeswax and, occasionally, ox blood.

At the link, you can see more photos of pipes in Mr. Ricketts's collection.

Link

Twister Champion by Naolito

Well, this is just fantastic! T-shirt designer extraordinaire Naolito illustrates how Mr. Fantastic is a natural champ at the game of Twister. View his designs over at his official website, Facebook page, Tumblr and deviantArt - then visit his NeatoShop page for more neat T-shirt designs: Link

Beakerful of Science	Evolution of Hypnotoad	Typical Tourist	Dragon Egg

View more designs by Naolito | All Funny T-shirts

Your purchase helps support indie artists, who get handsome royalties for each sale, and this blog. If you're a professional artist or T-shirt designer, let's talk! Sell your designs on the NeatoShop and get your website/FB page featured on the blog.

What is your cat thinking about? Dan Piraro of Bizarro Comics exposed the dark secret of pet psychic in this comic panel. Whaddayasay? Nailed it? Link

If you could arrange a race between famous science fiction spaceships, who would win? Would it be the Milliennium Falcon, the Jupiter 2, Serenity, the Enterprise, or some other ship? Find out in an online race to destinations light years away at Slate. They also explain the results, according to the canon of each science fiction universe as we know it. Link -via mental_floss

You might know her as "Maude "or perhaps as your favorite Golden Girl, but I doubt most of you know Bea Arthur the muse. This cropped image above shows a portion of the 1991 painting by artist John Currin. The full picture depicts Bea Arthur topless. The painting is aptly called "Bea Arthur Naked."

No, Bea Arthur never actually sat for this portrait. Currin, who is known for his sexually provocative paintings, used his imagination. The painting sold at auction Wednesday for $1.9 million. 

Los Angeles Times David Ng has more: Link

To keep up, you'll have to drink at least one cup a day. This calendar designed by the German ad agency Kolle Rebbe for the tea company Halssen & Lyon has 365 shingles of dried, compressed tea. Consume one off each day to mark the passage of time.

Link -via Junkculture

Three years before his death, author David Foster Wallace gave a commencement address to the 2005 graduating class of Kenyon College. In that speech, titled "This is Water," Wallace explained to the bright-eyed grads what real adult lives are like, and in the process, gave them an invaluable advice on life and a simple yet elegant explanation of the real value of education.

YouTube user The Glossary showcased Wallace's speech in the most interesting 10 minute video clip you'll see today: Link

Measurement Conversion Spatula

Could you use a little help reading that critically acclaimed international cookbook? You need the handy dandy Measurement Conversion Spatula from the NeatoShop. This great little cooking tool features a silicone head that is printed with a measurement conversion chart. Now all those conversions will be right at your fingertips.  

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more great Cooking items. 

Link

Fried S'mores is an easy recipe that goes something like this:

1. Make s'mores.
2. Dip in pancake batter.
3. Fry.
4. Stuff your face.

If you'd like the complete recipe, Carleyy has it for you at Instructables. Link  -via Daily of the Day

If you're tired of being a working stiff and look forward to retirement, here's a study that will spoil your day: according to British think tank Institute of Economic Affairs, retirement is harmful to your health.

The study [...] found that retirement results in a "drastic decline in health" in the medium and long term.

The IEA said the study suggests people should work for longer for health as well as economic reasons. [...]

The study suggests there is a small boost to health immediately after retirement, before a significant decline in the longer term.

Retirement is found to increase the chances of suffering from clinical depression by 40%, while you are 60% more likely to suffer from a physical condition.

The effect is the same for men and women, while the chances of becoming ill appear to increase with the length of time spent in retirement.

Thank goodness that the world's economy has taken care of that pesky problem for many of us who now can't afford to retire! Link (Image: Warning Retiree - Knows Everything and has Plenty of Time to Tell You About It)

(Image credit: Flickr user Voxphoto)

You're at a cocktail party with your date. Strangely enough, there's something in the room that everyone can touch -and so can you, but only with your left hand. What is it?

Continue reading to find out.

Highlight here for the answer: Your right elbow.

_______________________________

The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's All-Purpose Extra Strength Bathroom Reader.

The 13th book in the series by the Bathroom Reader's Institute has 504 pages crammed with fun facts, including articles on the biggest movie bombs ever, the origin and unintended use of I.Q. test, and more.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

Donor egg held by pipette prior to nuclear extraction. Image: OHSU Photos/Flickr

A significant, and undoubtedly controversial, milestone in stem cell therapy was reached yesterday. Scientists at the Oregon Health and Science University managed to achieve the Holy Grail of stem cell research: they've cloned a human embryo.

OHSU cell biologist Shoukhrat Mitalipov led a team of 23 scientists who methodically culled the lessons learned from stem cell research on amphibians, mice and rhesus monkeys — as well as from the abundant failures of others in the field. They devised a welter of new techniques to use the DNA of a fully formed skin cell in its most primitive embryonic form. [...]

In past efforts to coax such an assemblage of components to life, researchers have burned through dozens of donor eggs without getting any embryos even to the 16-cell stage at which stem cells become a remote possibility.

This time, the researchers said their methods were so efficient that they could create at least one embryonic stem cell line from each batch of eggs donated by 10 female volunteers. In one case, a single donor produced eight eggs of such exceptional quality that researchers were able to derive four embryonic stem cell lines.

Some hailed the development as an important advance in the paving the way to treat a range of diseases, but others feared that it's one step closer to cloning humans.

Melissa Healy of the Los Angeles Times has the post: Link

(YouTube link)

The pygmy marmoset (Cebuella pygmaea) is the smallest monkey in the world. They are about five to six inches tall, not including the tail. This one is eating a piece of macaroni, which looks huge in its hands! -via Daily Picks and Flicks

Night's Watch The Wall by Wirdou

Night gathers, and now my watch begins. T-shirt designer Wirdou has released another excellent Game of Thrones-inspired design, this time, mashed up with a bit of rock 'n roll.

Visit Wirdou's website, then head on over to his NeatoShop page for more awesome T-shirts. Your purchase helps support the blog and indie artists:

The Gamer Inside of Me	The Hungering	Chemical Avengers	Become A Scientist

View more designs by Wirdou | Funny T-shirts

Mustache-challenged? Do you feel like less of a man because you cannot grow a proper upper lipholstery? Fear not! Head over to Turkey, where you can get a mustache transplant:

The procedure uses a technique called follicle-hair extraction, in which doctors remove clusters of hair from the more hirsute areas of the body and implant them along the lip or cheeks to magnify a mustache or beef-up a beard.

Performed under local anesthetic, the surgery takes around five hours and can cost up to $5,000, cosmetic surgeons say. Tourism agencies have begun offering "transplant packages" combining facial-hair operations with a shopping vacation in Istanbul or beachside retreat on the Mediterranean coast.

Joe Parkinson of The Wall Street Journal explains: Link (Image: Fingerstache from the NeatoShop | View more strange and neat Mustache items there)

It used to be a hipster, but now it's not cool at all. This abandoned refrigerator was spotted on the streets of Glasgow, Scotland. Link

Mashable has a brilliant new video up today that takes a look at the funnier side of Google's new Glass product and how it could be used by certain "less than upstanding types" to cause trouble. Don't pass on this glass.

Via Mashable | Link

What lies beneath Moscow's most iconic buildings? These clever print ads are commissioned to promote the Shchusev State Museum of Architecture in Moscow, Russia. Via Web Urbanist

Zoe Zebra Picnic Lunch Box

Are you looking for a fun and functional lunch box for your favorite wild animal. Behold the Zoe Zebra Picnic Lunch Box from the NeatoShop. This great lunch unzips to become a place-mat. The lunch box is easy to use and easy to clean. It is insulated and can keep food cold for upwards of 7 hours. 

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more great Lunch Boxes. 

Link

The map above is based on information from the World Values Survey, which does ongoing research. The data from a single question was used to gauge racist attitudes around the world. Two Swedish economists used the data for a study to determine if there was any correlation between economic freedom and racism in different countries.

Among the dozens of questions that World Values asks, the Swedish economists found one that, they believe, could be a pretty good indicator of tolerance for other races. The survey asked respondents in more than 80 different countries to identify kinds of people they would not want as neighbors. Some respondents, picking from a list, chose “people of a different race.” The more frequently that people in a given country say they don’t want neighbors from other races, the economists reasoned, the less racially tolerant you could call that society. (The study concluded that economic freedom had no correlation with racial tolerance, but it does appear to correlate with tolerance toward homosexuals.)

Max Fisher used the raw data from the study to create the map. It has been pointed out that the survey results may be affected by cultural differences in answering survey questions honestly. At the Washington Post, you can enlarge the map and read more about the project. Link -via Digg

Here's the perfect bait to catch the elusive Loch Ness monster. Behold the Lox-Ness Monster (Nessie can't possibly resist!), made by Sandwich Monsters. 'Tis but one of 17 fantastic photos of wonderful sandwich creations you can gawk at over at Instagram: Link or checkout the gallery over at Walyou

Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website.

It is, without question, one of the most oft-quoted anecdotes in the history of comedy. It goes, pretty much, like this:

A woman with 10 (or 12 or 14 or whatever) children makes a guest appearance as a contestant on Groucho Marx's quiz show You Bet Your Life. The following dialogue takes place.

Woman: "I have 14 children, Groucho."

Groucho: "You have 14 children? Why do you have so many kids?"

Woman: "Because I love my husband."

Groucho: "I love my cigar, too, but I take it out every once in a while."

Groucho Marx's popular quiz show You Bet Your Life debuted in 1947 on radio. In 1950, it made the move to television and became even more popular. After a hugely successful 14-year run, the show finally ended in 1961.

On the show, Groucho became famous for his ability to ad-lib. The truth is, Groucho was an undisputed comic genius with a quick, brilliant mind. But ironically, most of Groucho's ad-libs were written in advance by his group of comedy writers. The writers themselves would meet and interview the contestants for the show, then they would write the clever "Groucho quips" on cue cards and Groucho would read them off before the studio audience.

It's true that Groucho did not meet the guest contestants before the show's taping. Groucho, being a talented comedian, had the ability to read the ad-libs off the cue cards and make them sound fresh and original.

The most generally-accepted version of the "cigar story" was that it took place on radio in 1947 during the show's first year. "Mrs. Story" was the supposed contestant's name. But other sources claimed it occurred on TV and the lady's name was "Mrs. House." However it supposedly happened, literally thousands of people claim to have either been there in the studio or heard it on radio or TV. This is, of course, impossible.

If it ever did occur, it would have inevitably been edited out before any actual airing. The ribald gag was much too crude for radio or television in those times. So, at most, 200 people (the capacity of Groucho's studio audience) could have actually heard it.

But in 1972, in an interview with Roger Ebert for Esquire magazine, Groucho himself said, "I got $25.00 from Reader's Digest last week for something I never said. I get credit all the time for things I never said. You know that line in You Bet Your Life the guy says he has 17 kids and I say 'I smoke a cigar but I take it out every once in a while.' I never said it." Interestingly, Groucho himself misrepresents the sex of the contestant and instead of a woman, the supposed butt of the quip is a man! Either way, this unequivocal statement by Groucho himself should put an end to the life of this legendary story.

But in the 1976 book The Secret Word is Groucho, by Groucho biographer Hector Arce, Groucho supposedly says "The story, however, is not apocryphal. It did happen." Unlike the 1972 Esquire interview, this book was largely ghost-written by Arce and he may have easily put these words in Groucho's mouth. By 1976, the year of the book's publication, Groucho was pretty much a shell of his old self, having survived a few strokes. The poor man could barely string together a coherent sentence in his final year. Groucho passed away the next year, in 1977.

Robert Dwan, the producer of Groucho's show, was present at every single radio and TV taping of the show during its 14-year run. Dwan was to insist, "I am (now) convinced that it did happen I believe Groucho said it." But strangely, Dwan consulted 20 volumes of the original series, which included "the funniest and most audacious sequences which were deleted from the broadcasts as being unsuitable for viewing in the 1950s." He made no mention of ever actually viewing or turning up the story.

Dwan's memory may have "dubbed in" hearing the anecdote, when in actuality, he had just "heard of it" second-hand for decades. The truth is, the cigar remark, taken at its burlesque show level, wasn't really Groucho's style. Groucho would definitely make an occasional off-color or lewd remark in private, as most men will, especially among members of his own sex, such as his fellow male comedians at the Hillcrest Country Club. And as we all know, Groucho's sense of humor and mind were amazingly quick, fertile, and hilarious.

But on the air, Groucho was the consummate pro and it wasn't like Groucho to make a remark like that in front of an actual studio audience (especially in the 1940s or '50s, when the public's sensitivities were so much different than they are now).

True, a Marion and Charlotte Story, who had 20 children, were radio contestants with Groucho on November 17, 1947. But there is no record or transcript of the legendary exchange actually taking place. Interestingly, on January 11, 1950, Groucho did interview a lady contestant who was one of 17 children and the following dialogue took place:

Groucho: "How does your father feel about this rather startling turn of events? Is he happy or just dazed?"

Daughter: "Oh, my Daddy just loves children."

Groucho: "Well, I like pancakes, but I haven't got closets full of them."

This rather innocuous exchange may possibly have been the actual source of the "cigar story." Perhaps someone heard this exchange and spiced it up a little with a much funnier (and raunchier) punch line, and attributed it to Groucho. The "cigar story" is hilariously funny and it does "sound" like a Groucho quip, and so…

This is how urban legends get started.

(YouTube link)